There is no ending, just new beginning.

And i need to keep reminding myself.
When my life goes on, so does others.

Dear bloggie,

lately things seem well.. balanced, i guess?
Nothing really bad happens, and nothing really good happened too.

but then again, i don't really remember whatever happened.


so, for now it is over with peaches.
she was sweet, she was innocent.
but for the love of god she was really super mthrfckng s2pee'd.
we live so close yet the only time she would want to meet me is when she's in a pinched situation without a transport.
sigh*

Just when I thought I found a keeper.
but then again, things never really "set off".
officially, i have been single since i was in form five.
which makes it...
err.. one year?
hahaha :P

sudahsudahlaaa.

Okay moving on.

Lately I can see lots of flowers blooming amongst friends.

teh flouer of lurve det ees!

And I am happy for all of you.

at least lepas ni takde la conversation "jk jk asal aku single lagi ni?" diantara kita semua.

hahaha.




baru-baru ni aku sedar kenapa aku semakin negatif.
haih.
aku bongkak fikir aku ni bagus sangat.
i kept on thinking that i deserved better.
tapi, laaa tu laaa.
if by only thinking things can come true, memang skang ni aku da jadi son goku.

susah betul hidup ni.
jadi positif penat,
jadi negatif nangis.

baik mati.

xD





Baru-baru ni juga aku boleh tersedar sebab aku baru perasan.
aku bukan nombor 1.
bukan lagi.

dah lama aku selesa dengan takhta nombor 1 tu.
tapi bila baru "notice" yang..
it was never mine to begin with.
or rather,
I was never there.
ilusi mainan diri.
aku kena game dengan ego sendiri.
kadang-kadang kita perlukan kesedaran macam ni.
a snap back to our senses,
or in my case,
a baleful smack of reality through my thick skull.
I thank god.
dah lama aku tak rasa kat bawah.
asik pandang orang dari atas.
bongkak lama-lama tak best jugak.
at least dari bawah ni aku boleh perlahan-lahan cuba kembali jadi orang lama.
hotstuff tak ke mana.


Aku sumpah benci pujian.
Melalaikan.



Notes:
asik kena tuduh aku tak roger, bila masa pulak kau nak roger aku?
~dia takde credit kot, putra.

Mungkin bila aku menyampah dengan orang. Itu cuma self-defense mechanism aku yang reflect balik kebencian aku terhadap diri sendiri. entah lah.

"Anak dara minta pujian, anak jantan minta ujian." - dari status facebook Amin Harun.

aku betul benci orang cepat melatah. Baru gaduh break skit dah gelabah nak "i love single forever". Kalau sekali dua tak apa. ni 5,6 kali kau break bende sama jadi. Kono baaaaaka!

kalau aku betul mati, aku nak dua lagu dipasang lepas bacaan yasin untuk aku (kalau ada la)
"The Adicts - Who spilt my beer" dan "Binks no sake"
Aku tak pernah minum arak, tapi bila aku mati lagu aku nak semua ada kaitan dengan minuman haram tu. Maybe message yang aku cuba sampaikan lebih dari sekadar lirik, tuan bijaksana.

Okay bloggie,
heh.
"au revoir" kan?
kau bukan calon dia putra. sudah2 la.
C ya soon my dear bloggie.
hugsNkisses.
I love my friends.

Extra Notes:

tak, aku bukan "heart broken".

masih ada bayang disisi hati.

masih keluar muka sebelum aku bermimpi.

haha.