confessions to you sayang.

Sayang,

i'm writing this to you today.

maybe u can read this, maybe not.

but i just want to show to the world how much i really love you.


Dear w,

i still remember the first time we exchange glances.

i still remember u wore whole black that day.

first i thought u were goth girl or something.

but then again,

u looked nothing like a faggoth.



i still remember the first time we were connected.

i cant ever forget how lovely u were.

though we had quite a rough start but its all good.

to grow a beautiful relationship we have to learn about each other,

and take all that's good and bad right.


recently i'm always busy with my work.

ever since the start of this year actually.

things just seemed harder for both of us.

but u did not give up.

u never do.

that's what i like most about u.

u stayed there for me even when i leave u alone for some times.


i love you.

but since we've parted in those times.

u seemed different dear.

i think u have changed.

is it because i kept our relationship a secret?

i think i told my friends online about us a couple of times.

but i guess that's just not good enough.

its not that u changed totally.

ur still here.

ur still there when i need you.

its just that..

idk.

u seemed different when everything seems the same.

i know it sounds stupid.

but i can see those changes.

maybe its just me?

or is it?

idk.

sometimes its hard for me to even sleep thinking about us.

our relationship.

our future together.

soon maybe i'm off to go further my studies.

and we can't see each other again for a long time.

will it affect us?

even u know i don't believe in long distance relationship.

but if its u.

maybe i'll change for us dear.

i love you.




i need u always in my life.

but dear,

i have to know that the love we share is still mutual.

idk how.

we see each other more these days.

we smiled together,

we had lots and lots of fun together,

and we laughed together.

that's really something.


but still,

i can feel ur changing.

especially at night.

u make it hard for me to do my usual stuff every night nowadays.

its not that i'm mad.

but its still annoying.

and sorry dear but i don't appreciate these things.






i know u maybe sad if u read this.

but think of how i feel when i'm typing this.

its harder for me to say these things more than it for u to read it.

i'm really sorry.

i love you.



but nowadays,

its ur playing dumb with me.

ur being slow and annoying.

maybe its cute at first but its annoying.

u used to be sharp, direct to the point and knows everything i wanted.

but know.

as if u ignore me.

but its okay dear.

maybe its just a phase,

we're still both new at this.

i love you no matter what.

I LOVE YOU wimax




=)

Here's a picture of my current lover.

So long job.

Dear Bloggie,

hi!

How are you?

hihi.


yesterday i got a call from that amoi that i work with.

and i told her i quit.

i don't think i'm in any condition to work anytime soon.

since this IS my last week working. (have i told u this before?)

better i just quit and save her some trouble.

its the least i can do.

=)


just to end everything about work.

here's my last piece of words i've done at work.

Despair, desperation, depression.
obsession of impression provokes fascination.
frantically drastic to be realistic as plastic,
lack of action forces the whole to breed fractions.
an act of movement hits predicament is imminent.
the idea of liberty is freely greet,
causing annoyance without the absence of disturbance.

A blissful knock on the door of fury.
really,
merely,
a brass perhaps i'll use to harass.
maybe a steel to grind my meal.
my gentle advice,
will break the ice.

X marks the start,
my actions comes from my heart,
my decision of passion,
a lifelong term of dedication,
this little action is my mission,
to educate the plastic, that fraction

how pretending can cause his destruction.

just like sonnet 18, this is dedicated to a gay.

ehh.

i mean a guy.

but he looks gay.

(fuck u guys. i am straight u dumbsackofhairyballs)


oh u fucken poseur.








anyways bloggie.

i still haven't give that amoi my punchcard and nametag.

which means my salary AND 20 bucks is still hanging loose.

haih.

i need cash badly nowadays.

lets go rob a bank or something?

that should be the highlight of our lives.

before jail of course.

haha

c ya later.
miss ya bloggie.
=)

Number 30 (part2)

in case u haven't noticed.

this is part 2.

i've posted part 1 before this.


okay okay.

bloggie dear.

this time its about work.

since i'm kinda unable to continue my work due to some mishaps.

i've stop my counts.

what am i counting?

keep reading...






since i started working as a promoter,

it seems that certain things about people around me that gives a question mark on my thoughts.

for starters,

people say that i and Mujed have the same face and seems like brothers.

WHAT THE FART?

me and mujed?

we look nothing a like.

uhh..

okay okay maybe just a wee bit.

this is not a curse.

since that i kinda look like him.

i get to use his insurance card and got my accident wounds bandaged for free.

yehaaa!!

i can't believe that the nurses did not even question me and the IC.

do we look THAT similar?

HAIH!

people!

get ur eyes checked.

=)


and about my counts.

no, its not the count of zits that pops out.

no its not the amount of girls i managed to pick-up.

no, its not the number of times i went to the toilet.

ceh!

my count is about

"How many times people think I'm Chinese!"

yes u vision retarded freaks.

30 people (or so) thought i was chinese.

WTF!

what an honor i guess.

ahahahha!!

imagine 30 people.

TIGA KOSONG!

simpang ti..... (okay this is getting out of line)

hahaha!


who knows.

maybe in 5 years time i could be a model.

or an actor!

ahahahhahaha!

thank you people for mistaking me for a chinese guy!

30

thirty!

ahahhaa.

cant wait until my next counts.

gonne be him in a couple of years.
u girls just wait!

he he he.

cya later alligator!

=P

white blessing from china(part1)

Dear Bloggie,

since i tot i'm too lazy to post 4 more blogs on queue each day.

maybe i'll skip and just post uhm.. 2 things that happened quite recently.


for starters.

i've got a new phone!

yay!

i bought it a few weeks back i think.

its already got scratches and my bloodstain on it.

if its indicating any sign about what would happen to my phone.

please.

i don't wanna know about it.




okay about the phone.

its white in color.

looks just like nokia N79

but have side speakers just like N78

it has 2 megapixel camera (or so i'm told)

it has bluetooth

i got free 1 GB memory card

it has Dual sim function

it has 1 year warranty

and it only cost me RM280.

RM280!!!

yes i think its quite cheap with a freaking 1 year warranty.

haha.

here's a photo.

3 mobile, manade maksud pape

Next blog to be posted....

First Blood (no DUDE, not rambo)

Dear Bloggie,

as promised i'm posting something to update about my life.

okay here it goes..




i heard once that "every good deed will not go unpunished"

well.

the same goes for every bad deed right?


for me IT HAS.

its my curse part two.

if u still remember bloggie, i had my curse part one.

i was heartbroken, and physically hurt on the same day.

it was 2 curse with not so big effect.

i still can laugh it all off.


but now.

JENG JENG JENG!!

looks a bit gothic don't u think?







U don't wanna mess with me eyhh!

haha.

the other photos were more gory and bloody.

not suitable for u my dear bloggie.

:P


i wanted to say i was in a big fight with some chinese or indian to make it sound cooler.

but the truth is.

i went too fast on a corner,

my brakes were too cute to do its job.

next thing i knew..


CRASH!


i was already on the ground.

my helmet broke in some pieces.

i saw blood dripping from my head.

and i was hardly able to breathe.

its like something was pressuring my chest while saying "diieeee you bloody bastard DIE!"

i ended getting up alone.

a few motor cyclist past while showing their mercy face. "kononnye"

then this bro came and help.

his name was KAMAL and he's from shah alam section 28.

he works at west port klang.

if only i can repay his kindness.

God bless you.

May ALLAH repay all ur kindness.



my hands are numb for 2 days now.

and when my painkillers are down.

it stings dear.

it really stings.

juz like a heartbreak.

and everytime i want to type.

i kept watching my wound on my left hand.

its disgusting.

i hate it.


my second curse seems to be worse than my first.

and to think i set out of my house with a good intention of going to work early.

haha.

my intention of a good deed seems to be punished.

unrealistic.


i wanna go mad.

but i don't think being mad at fate is really a good idea.

its dumb.

=)

go to shah alam without license with a passenger. CHECK!!

having a fine. CHECK!!

running away from a roadblock. CHECK!!

kissing the ground alone. CHECK!!

destroy my taillight doing wheely. not done.

taking a bitch to some park while pumping her tits out. not done.


two more thing left to do before i "khatam" being a qualified mat rempit.

ahahahahaaha

mat rempet tegar! said fify!

until then bloggie.

cya~

ohh dunia

Dear bloggie,


Wimax.

tak boleh online blog.

can't even open blogs after 12 a.m


CURSE YOU SALAZAAARRRRR!!

(stole from charlie's angel)




i have uhmmm,

my love, cik W

Poet from work,

Number 30.

White blessing from china.

four blogs i cant update.

will be done soon.

c ya soon bloggie.

Perfect.

Dear Bloggie,

Hi,

How are you?


for no reason right now i'm not in a good mood.

bad as in "sad" mood.

and yes,

its for no reason whatsoever.



Its 10th May today.

Happy Mother's day mama.

i should have bought u some present for ignoring u these past 3/4 weeks.

i'm so sorry.

=(














work was great.

well the day went by fast and before i knew it, it was already lunchtime.

(fast forward)


around 9 something p.m came the highlight of my day.


yes its a girl.



yes SHE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE!!!

fair skinned,

cutest face,

curly hair,

almost perfect.


the thing is that.

she played "CAK-CAK!" with me,

haha.



she would go behind this counter,

sneaks out her head and say


"HIIIII!!"

OMG!

i fcking laughed!

:DDDD



we kept playing cak cak until her parents came.

then she tried on some of the shoes i was selling.

well,

i wanted to ask for her phone number,

or at least take her picture.

but,

thanks to some indon i can do neither.

haih.


she was so cute.

i hope i dream bout her tonight.

the perfect girl.

That's all bloggie,

C yaaa~

oh btw.
did i say she was around 3 years old?
the cutest kid ever!
=)





she was happy kinda like this one duh!












ohh ketot.

Haih! si ketot!

dear bloggie,


today ketot gets to read my blog.


haih..

Congratulations toooo.....



JENG


JENG


JENG!!




Farah a.k.a Ketot rambut helmet steng!

maybe i'll post some more blog.

who knows if im in the mood tonight.

c ya bloggie dear.

=D

Promoter's day.

Dear Bloggie,

i wrote nothing for about 3 hours thinking on what to write tonight.

well.

i'll just babble my way on this one.





i woke around 11 something.

WTF! i thought.

i was suppose to go to secret recipe's interview, give mujed at least a round of DoTA, and gotta be at work at 1300 hours.

HAIH!

then i called mujed.

(after edited and screened, his call kinda sound likes this)

"aku belom pergi lesen lagi la. nanti aku call balik"

WTF! he's suppose to go to his license thingamajig today?

HAIH!

but then around 1130 he came with his bike.

LUCKY!

to keep him kinda occupied i gave him a round of DoTA.

he chose mogul kahn.

cool.

(for those who does know DoTA. U HAVE NOT LIVED TO THE FULLEST YET!)

then i took my shower, cook a bit, and ready2 and stuff.

by then it was already 1230 something.

WTFWTFWTF!

then i thought.

(after edited and screened, my thought kinda sound likes this)

"ah, gaji potong sejam RM4 jer. mampos lah lambat pon. demi job interview yg lumayan bai!"

as it turns out.

it was not that worth it.

they were looking for a female waitress i guess?

then OFF to aeon!



_______________________________________________




managed to get there around 1305 hours.

i was kinda early!

YAY!

but then mujed wanted to buy some food for his mum in the aeon's canteen.

so, i took another 25 mins to complete his request.

kawan punye pasal. HALAL laaaa!



_______________________________________________



work was quite okay.

Hey bloggie!

guess what!

he he he.........

today i finally talked and chat with elwin and aishah.

aishah and i have been exchanging glances for some time now.

finally we get to talk to each other.

and guess what?

she's COOL!

i thought she's gonna be kinda snobbish or something.

her personality gave me a big "don'tjudgeabookbyitscover" slap to my face.

haha.

and also elwin is cool.

all of them actually are actually from Shah Alam Technic School. (techsha)

Haih! no wonder they all "ngam" so well.

and this elwin girl keeps talking about sofie,

my buddy since kindergarten.

the disgusting things his done and stuff.

ewrghh!

haha.

but still.

i kept on meeting new cool people.

=D

wonder who'll be the next one i meet.

:)




aishah kinda reminds me a lot of eja.

i miss her.

wish we could go karaoke together.

wonder what crazy songs we'll sing.

haha.









_______________________________________________

it seems bloggie dear,

people are moving on fine except for me.

idk where i'm heading after SPM.

this sucks.

a lot.

BTW anep!

aishah also heading to UiTM melaka!

she's in komputer sains.

she's quite tall, fair skinned, wears tudung, and very thin + CUN!

good luck dude.

:P

That's all bloggie, dum-deee-dumdum-duuu C ya!

p/s: Have you smiled today?

Dear bloggie,

today at work around 9-11 p.m i suddenly flashed back about eis.

i remembered her smile,

her pizza recommendation card which she wrote "selalu kekalkan senyum tuh okee"

can't blame her.

her smile is addictive.


then i remembered her giggle.

it was a short but funny giggle.

her giggle totally make me smile every time.

this is why she scored 99% on my first ridiculous list of dream girl.

oh, that giggle.

haha.

=DDD



now its around 3 something a.m.

she replied my text yesterday.

eventhough it took her almost 24 hours to reply.

but its the thought that counts right?

and today was her last day of work.

(30th april 2009)


now she have to be prepared for matrix.

about studies i think she can struggle through that.

but she's gonna be a whole new person.

stepping into a different world.

just like when we entered high school.

i was a fat nerd with shattered dreams when i entered high school.

i made the best of it by being a more good-looking type of fatty with shattered hope.

it doesn't really help me much in life.

as a result i sucked at SPM.

3A's

if that fatty that just left primary school can see me now.

he'd be laughing and beating me up.

i've been a fool towards myself.



EHH!!

STOP!

lari tajuk!!



eis



eis eis.

ok ok .





she said that when she steps into the world of university,

she's gonna change her number and nobody can know her new number.

i kept thinking i'll be the only one getting that number.

buttt.....

if i think like this it will totally be the opposite that happens.

i'll be just another nobody in her new life.

but for now,

she texted me.

even if she texted me after she texted all the other guys.

it means she wants my text to be the last before she goes to sleep right?

or is it just me.

HaHa!

Putra you sore loser!



by the way,

if ur a new guy/girl reading my blog,



Hi!

i'm putra.

i'm a lazy fat-ass that only talks big about everything in life.
i'm annoying and i get annoyed easily.
i'm broke and stupid.
i'm not funny.
i only hav quarter of the brain i used to have.
i prefer to be left alone for most of the time.
i'm stupidly shy when i'm around new people.
i'm not photogenic at all.
i'm really good at condemning other people.
i get easily offended when u condemn me.
i don't have anything that i could bet my life on.
i don't think anything in this life is worth sacrificing my life on.
i'm a major pervert.
i'm a poseur.
i'm a fake.
i don't have an identity like everyone else.
i always think i can get any woman i want.
but the truth is..

i'm just a sad bitter young idiot.

in short.

another nobody.

(her giggles)

ahahahah!

okay even after condemning myself to the lowest,

her giggle still makes me smile.

=DDD

i can't say i love her.

love is so overrated to me.



eis,
Gha,
ketot?

haih dari banyak2 tinggal 3 choice?

ketot ohh ketot.

maybe i'll miss u when ur gone.

who won't.

=)

Just smile dude!

Haha!

Smile bloggie!

C yaaaa~